Read: Luke 2:41-51 NRSV
Now every year his parents went to Jerusalem for the festival of the Passover. And when he was twelve years old, they went up as usual for the festival. When the festival was ended and they started to return, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but his parents did not know it. Assuming that he was in the group of travellers, they went a day’s journey. Then they started to look for him among their relatives and friends. When they did not find him, they returned to Jerusalem to search for him. After three days they found him in the temple, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. And all who heard him were amazed at his understanding and his answers. When his parents saw him they were astonished; and his mother said to him, ‘Child, why have you treated us like this? Look, your father and I have been searching for you in great anxiety.’ He said to them, ‘Why were you searching for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?’ But they did not understand what he said to them. Then he went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them. His mother treasured all these things in her heart.
In this passage we learn more about Joseph from what he doesn’t do or say than what he does (which is nothing.) I’m a pretty calm and easygoing person, but I have felt my blood start to boil when I’ve driven five minutes down the road and realized that I left my wallet on the kitchen counter or my lunchbox in the refrigerator. Imagine travelling a whole day (probably on foot or with some sort of pack animal) and then realizing that your child isn’t with you. Aside from the panic over their safety, I’d be furious that my son wandered off and didn’t have the awareness to see that we were leaving.
Maybe Joseph did shout and bluster a bit, but there’s no record of that happening here. The man who had accepted every odd situation thrown at him with equanimity and obedience is “astonished” but still gentle. His reaction is human, but it doesn’t devolve into theatrics. He doesn’t show that sort of performative anger that parents sometimes find necessary when their child acts up in a public place which feels more like a display for strangers than an actual rebuke for the child. No, Joseph has patience and a mastery over his temper. That level of composure is noteworthy in the individual, but also for any first-century man who would have been seen as the unquestioned head of the household and whose word would have been law. (See Proverbs 13:13 or 19:16). Joseph has the wisdom and humility to recognize that there is much about Jesus that he does not understand and to parent with a quiet and gentle strength.
We pray, God, that you grant us the same strength.
